(no subject)

It appears a certain someone has been rolling in my clean laundry. The purple hairs were one indication. The fact that my clothes are now fused into a single lump of cloth was another. I'd have gotten around to exacting my vengeance earlier, but I ran into the zen window-mister in the hall and got distracted by the full-body afro. One must prioritize.

Apropos of nothing, was anyone aware that Mr. Marko has apparently been stockpiling contraband waterguns in one of the service sheds? I had no idea. It was a right shock when the shed door mysteriously unlocked itself and swung open just as I happened to be passing by on my morning run. I found myself so distressed over their potential fate that I have taken them into the kitchen for safekeeping. Because I'm taking no chances that the sudden change in temperature might damage the sealing, I've determined to ease the transition by filling the guns with water and crushed ice, which incidentally should now have reached an appropriate stage of liquification. I am generous, no? You are all on your honor not to abuse my consideration for your property. And I call dibs on the bucket.