(no subject)

[xp_emplate]

For all those who may have been unaware for reasons of last night's cunning disguise, I now submit these three factors:

• a Nobel-candidate geneticist in quasi-residence
  
• an ex-flatmate with entirely too active a brain
  
• several days' extended study of the finer workings of my DNA necessitated by the inadvertent tamperings of a former staff-member's stalker
  

What, may you ask, does all this make me?

Cured.

Yes, your eyes do not deceive; my long struggle with what could only be described as evolution's most poorly-planned advancement is at last at an end. I am become unutterably lovely once more. And also again able to breathe my native atmosphere while simultaneously no longer facing what all signs were to indicate would have been eventual and horrific death at the whim of a bloody idiotic mutation.

It is quite the improvement, no?

As ever, I extend my thanks to all who have been so kind as to suffer the rigours of constant donation for the past year, but please take no offence when I say I am ecstatic that your services are no longer required. I know it's a trial, but let yourselves not be overcome by despair. We shall simply have to find reasons other than the extension of my life to use as the basis of the odd dinner-date . . . which I regret to say look to be rather cheaper than previous, as somehow my parents have gotten it into their minds that while I am no longer completely cut-off it would be far more amusing if I were to earn my pocket money by means of an honest day's work. This is because my begetters sup upon human misery and have found recently-prodigal sons in the midst of convalescence to be the meal of choice.

Now if I may be excused, I'm off to have a quick run before class, which incidentally I am once again attending. (In retrospect, perhaps this notice would have made rather more of an impact before I showed up for first period. Thus am I foiled by my own exuberance, and additionally the fact that I already find myself half a semester behind and did not have so deep a commitment to Drama as to become more.)

Comments

[x-wildchild.livejournal.com]

Dude? Really, I only have one question?

WHERE IS YOUR HAIR?

[x-emplate.livejournal.com]

You mean where, at this very moment, are the dreadlocks which were until yesterday afternoon gracing my pleasingly distinct head? In an infirmary dustbin, I'm sure. As I discovered there is no convenient way to rid such a style of recently-molt skin, I was forced to remove them for reasons of Hygiene.

I'm certainly not keeping them in a tasteful vase by my bedside as mementos. Or sending away to have the dozens of teeth I suffered falling from my palms for the better part of the weekend worked into a humourous paperweight.

That would be odd.

[x-wildchild.livejournal.com]

Do you want a hat? Because dude, that has to be cold.

Odd, but you're the one who thought of it. ... Dude, you DIDN'T, did you?

[x-emplate.livejournal.com]

It is indeed a bit drafty, and I have been unwell. By all means, share with me one of your cunning hats. Or perhaps I can have my loving wife do me one in crochet. If I fancy a hat that goes all the way to the shoulders, that is.

What, display a certain morbid fascination with the physical trappings of a year's worth of questionable life choices and soul-destroying psychological torment? Me? Perish the thought. I should never do a thing like that.

Really.

[x-wildchild.livejournal.com]

I have this great orange one with earflaps...

Course not. Bronzed or just like, that clear acrylic stuff?

[x-emplate.livejournal.com]

After much debate, I think I shall have them mounted as one would the jaws of a particularly fearsome shark. So, acrylic. If questioned I shall simply say it is to commemorate the teething of the many fluffy kittens I have acquired over my last few months of tribulation.

Although a few teeth are rather on the broken side, so perhaps this explanation would raise its own brand of inquiry.

[x-roulette.livejournal.com]

Dare you if you ever get a job that requires a desk to prominently display said paperweight. With a nice commemorative plaque.

[x-roulette.livejournal.com]

I'm sure I can be persuaded to do something with all this purple yarn I have. Since you are now suceptable to things like the common cold, seeing as how Kyle's healing factor is no longer an option.

[x-emplate.livejournal.com]

Ah yes, that is a drawback. No longer shall I be able to experiment with the powers of others as a result of draining their living marrow in order to ensure my very survival.

Oh, look. I'm over it.

[x-polarisstar.livejournal.com]

Can you no longer borrow powers without feeding? It's tedious to shield every time you get close.

[x-emplate.livejournal.com]

Haven't the faintest idea.

[x-polarisstar.livejournal.com]

Ah, well. Let's not test that, shall we?

[x-emplate.livejournal.com]

Depending on the workings of my class schedule, Fate may put to lie any promise I could make. Guess who has to completely redo their assessment for Powers Training.

[x-cyclops.livejournal.com]

It's good to see you in such good spirits, Marius. I'm glad everything went well with your treatment, although given the caliber of the brains you had working on your behalf I'm not entirely surprised.

[x-emplate.livejournal.com]

Yes, and to think all it took was a near-complete deterioration of my higher faculties and the resulting attack on one of my best mates to slot the last piece of the puzzle into place. I must tender a grateful missive to Josephine, whose last name I most certainly have not completely forgotten after being the source of such a pivotal event in my life. I'm sure it will go quite nicely with the charges my parents are pressing on my behalf.

[x-cyclops.livejournal.com]

One of the few women I know who richly deserves such mixed signals.

[x-foliate.livejournal.com]

Aww... no one ever lets me do anything FUN.

(eeecongrats?)

[x-emplate.livejournal.com]

No worries, I'm sure there shall be copious other opportunities to save my life. Loads of people already have done. All my flatmates . . . Forge twice, yet. (And I hardly think that's fair. It's difficult enough coming up with unique and meaningful ways to express gratitude for the save without dealing with repeats.)

[x-foliate.livejournal.com]

But mutations are my THING. I've failed you. Woe.

:(

But, hey. Less bad hair.

[x-siryn.livejournal.com]

Don't you have enough to do trying to analyze the former block of ice that is my boyfriend?

[x-forge.livejournal.com]

He changed back, I heard. Pity, I didn't even get a chance to run any tests. Where is the consideration for science, I ask?

[x-siryn.livejournal.com]

Once he learns to do it on command, you're welcome to schedule some time for you and Paige to run all sorts of tests for science.

Schedule with me that is.

[x-forge.livejournal.com]

Well, of course. If I was going to run a test on Horatio, I'd ask Scott first. It's common courtesy.

[x-siryn.livejournal.com]

...not quite the same.

[x-traction.livejournal.com]

It's good to see a smile on your face again. Congrats again.

[x-emplate.livejournal.com]

I regained the capacity for joyous facial expressions roughly a week ago. This is merely the first time anyone's been able to tell, what with the rather distracting breathing-apparatus in the way. Julio is now at a loss, for no longer has he the grounds upon which to levy the vile slander of me being the Emo One.

And did I mention the decreased possibility of self-inflicted injury or death?

[x-rictor.livejournal.com]

Kyle tells me you are now the smarmy one. I think I like this word. Smarmy.

[x-emplate.livejournal.com]

Nonsense. Smarm connotes insincerity, and I am the very picture of sincerity. I prefer the term "charming." Or possibly "lovable rogue," although upon consideration I do not think I need any more similarities to our winning RA.

[x-blink.livejournal.com]

woot! about damn time you owe me coffee.

and I'll make you a hat, if you want. I don't need to take notes in class...