(no subject)

[xp_emplate]

For all those who may have been unaware for reasons of last night's cunning disguise, I now submit these three factors:

• a Nobel-candidate geneticist in quasi-residence
  
• an ex-flatmate with entirely too active a brain
  
• several days' extended study of the finer workings of my DNA necessitated by the inadvertent tamperings of a former staff-member's stalker
  

What, may you ask, does all this make me?

Cured.

Yes, your eyes do not deceive; my long struggle with what could only be described as evolution's most poorly-planned advancement is at last at an end. I am become unutterably lovely once more. And also again able to breathe my native atmosphere while simultaneously no longer facing what all signs were to indicate would have been eventual and horrific death at the whim of a bloody idiotic mutation.

It is quite the improvement, no?

As ever, I extend my thanks to all who have been so kind as to suffer the rigours of constant donation for the past year, but please take no offence when I say I am ecstatic that your services are no longer required. I know it's a trial, but let yourselves not be overcome by despair. We shall simply have to find reasons other than the extension of my life to use as the basis of the odd dinner-date . . . which I regret to say look to be rather cheaper than previous, as somehow my parents have gotten it into their minds that while I am no longer completely cut-off it would be far more amusing if I were to earn my pocket money by means of an honest day's work. This is because my begetters sup upon human misery and have found recently-prodigal sons in the midst of convalescence to be the meal of choice.

Now if I may be excused, I'm off to have a quick run before class, which incidentally I am once again attending. (In retrospect, perhaps this notice would have made rather more of an impact before I showed up for first period. Thus am I foiled by my own exuberance, and additionally the fact that I already find myself half a semester behind and did not have so deep a commitment to Drama as to become more.)

Comments

[x-emplate.livejournal.com]

After much debate, I think I shall have them mounted as one would the jaws of a particularly fearsome shark. So, acrylic. If questioned I shall simply say it is to commemorate the teething of the many fluffy kittens I have acquired over my last few months of tribulation.

Although a few teeth are rather on the broken side, so perhaps this explanation would raise its own brand of inquiry.

[x-roulette.livejournal.com]

Dare you if you ever get a job that requires a desk to prominently display said paperweight. With a nice commemorative plaque.